Things To Do On the 1st Day of School

Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the teacher makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right,old bean!"
Wear X-Ray Specs.Every few minutes,ask the teacher to focus the overhead projector.
Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
Sit in the front,and color in your textbook.
When the teacher calls your name in roll,respond, "that's my name,don't wear it out!"
Introduce yourself to the class as the master of the pan flute.
Give the teacher a copy of The Watchtower.Ask him where his soul would go if he died tomorrow.
Wear earmuffs.Every few minutes,ask the teacher to speak louder.
Squint thoughtfully while giving the teacher strange looks.In the middle of lecture,tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.
Ask whether the 1st chapter will be on the test.If the teacher says no,rip the pages out of your book.
Become entranced with your physics lecture,and declare your intention to pursue a career in measurements and units.
Sing your questions.
When the teacher calls roll,after each name scream "THAT'S ME!Oh,no,sorry."
Insist in a southern drawl that your name really is Wuchen Li.If you actually are chinese,insist that your name's Vladimir Fernandez O'Reilly.
Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.
Page through the textbook scratching each picture,and sniffing it.
Wear your pajamas.Pretend not to notice that you've done so.
Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters CHECK YOUR FLY.
Inform the class that you're Belgian royalty,and have a friend bang cymbals together whenever your name's spoken.
Stare continually at the teachers crotch.Occassionally lick your lips.
Address the professor as "your excellency."
Sit in the front,sniff suspiciously,and ask the teacher if he's been drinking.
Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.
Bring a mirror,and spend the lecture writing Bible verses on your face.
Ask whether you have to come to class.
Present the professor with a large fruit basket.
Bring a "seeing eye rooster" to class.
Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask,Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?Become aggitated when the teacher can't understand you.
Relive your junior high days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkbord erasers.
Watch the professor through binoculars.
Start a "mexican wave" in a large lecture hall.
Ask to introduce your invisible friend in the empty seat beside you,and ask for 1 extra copy of each handout.
When the teacher turns on his laser pointer,scream "AGH!MY EYES!"
Correct the teacher at least 10x on the pronunciation of your name,even if it's Smith.Claim that the 'i' is silent.
Sit in the front row reading the teachers graduate thesis and snickering.
As soon as the 1st bell rings,volunteer to put a problem on the board.Ignore the teachers reply and proceed to do so anyway.
Claim that you wrote the class text book.
Claim to be the teaching assistant.If the real 1 objects,jump up and scream "IMPOSTER!"
Spend the lecture blowing kisses to other students.
Every few minutes,take a sheet of notebook paper,write signup sheet at the top,and start passing it around the room.
Stand to ask questions.Bow deeply before taking your seat after the teacher answers.
Wear a cape with a big S on it.Inform classmates that the S stands for stud.
Interrupt every few minutes to ask the teacher, "can you spell that?"
Disassemble your pen. "Accidentally" propel pieces across the room while playing with the spring.Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces.Repeat.
Wink at the professor every few minutes.
In the middle of lecture,ask your teacher whether he believes in ghosts.
Laugh heartily at everything the teacher says.Snort when you laugh.
Wear a black hooded cloak to class and ring a bell.
Ask your math teacher to pull the roll chart above the blakboard of ancient greek trade routes down farther because you can't see Macedonia.